Motivated Monday – Stuff and Stings

Lord knows how much I love technology. And I especially love how my home church in Metro Atlanta posts sermons on their virtual campus. Here is a video of a sermon that really touched me. Regardless of your religious beliefs, you have to understand a few things. Cows produce milk. Bees make honey. Both are things we want to have in our personal utopia. But cows also make “stuff” (instert four-letter word here) and bees will sting. You must know that sometimes, you must get through the “stuff” and the stings before you can get to the milk and honey. Enjoy, laugh, meditate and make it a wonderful Monday.

"Stuff and Stings" by Dr. Sam Chand

♥ - The Bougie Budgetista

First Date Friday – Ayo, I started using technology

Recently I did something I never thought I would do. I joined an online dating site. Now, as you’re gasping, let me explain. I work full time, as many of you do as well, and I spend most of my free time at the gym (which, as you all know, is a women’s only fitness studio), making it rather difficult to meet members of the opposite sex. As a serial monogamist, I decided to hop on the dating train for a bit, just to see what it was like. Why online dating, you ask? Well, there are a few reasons. For starters, there’s something kind of off about meeting someone in a bar or club. And with our isolated society, no one is going to approach you in a grocery store or a coffee shop. So I figured I’d use technology to my advantage and see what the online dating scene is like. First Date Fridays will not only chronicle some of my first dates, but also give you great tips on planning your own dates, from where to go, what to do and even what to wear.

But today, I’d like to have a chat with those ladies and gentlemen who are in the same boat as I am. To my fellow online daters, I’d like to impart some knowledge on how to have a gratifying experience in the online dating pool. Follow these tips and you could possibly avoid a few headaches.

1. A picture is worth way more than a thousand words – As I’ve said time and time again, people will ALWAYS judge a book by its cover. Chose pictures that will make a person what to continue to read the rest of your profile. I’m not saying they have to be professional pictures that have been retouched and photoshopped and all that craziness, because, let’s face it, as much as we’d love it, there is no “real-life-shop”, so choose pictures that show the real you. Smile! And as your main photo, I’d discourage you from using an action shot or a group picture. It just confuses people. Yeah, I know some of you are like “Well, I shouldn’t be judged on my looks alone. I have a great personality, blah blah blah.” Honey, something’s gotta catch their attention and normally, the headline’s not it. We’re a very visually stimulated society. So stimulate them! But please, have some class and refrain from posting racy pictures. That just sends the wrong message. Leave a little something to the imagination to get the respect you deserve. 
2. Be your own border patrol – There are always going to be some sleaze balls prowling online dating sites. You can filter some of those out of your experience with a few simple clicks of the mouse. For most sites, you can set parameters for who can contact you. If you’re like me and refuse to date a smoker, then, guess what? No messages from them! Think about what you are willing to tolerate and those things which are non-negotiables and save yourself the drama associate with the deal breaker conversation. 
3. Let them see your true colors shining through – The actual information on your profile is just as important as the pictures you choose, in my opinion. The picture may get them to click on your profile, but what is going to motivate someone to continue reading? A pretty face can only get you so far. The substance of your personality is what ultimately keeps the person interested.  If there is one tip that I can give you when you begin to compose your profile it’s this (and I don’t think I’ll be able to say this enough) – BE HONEST! Tell prospective daters who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’re looking for. Be specific and straight forward. It’s easy to tell who took the time to read the whole thing and who is genuinely interested in you versus the sketchy person who was just interested in your pants. 
4. I don’t see nothin’ wrong with not replying, baby – You’re not going to buy an outfit looks “just ok” on you, right? And you definitely wouldn’t pay your hard earned dollars on something that was simply hideous. So why waste your precious time replying to a message from someone you’re not interested in? Seriously, it’s not going to hurt anyone’s feelings. As a matter of fact, I’ve come across individuals who send the exact same message to a slew of people all at once. If you want to be polite and let the individual know you’re not interested, then great. Kudos to you. I’ve tried that and it opened up a can of worms (“But why don’t you like me?” and “Who are you to judge me without even giving me a chance? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera *insert violin music here*). It all boils to what I explained above. Yes, your pretty face may have initially attracted me to you, but the fact that you can’t spell to save your life, use poor grammar, are extremely superficial in your profile, and approached me with inappropriate vernacular will make me click the delete button. I know what I like and what I don’t like. And if you do, too, then feel free to do the same. Trust me. At the end of the day, you not responding to someone’s message isn’t going to devastate their existence on earth.

Go forth and match, fish, harmonize and spark some chemistry with folks, boys and girls! Have a great weekend!

Big x’s and little o’s


♥  - The Bougie Budgetista

Tasty Tuesday – From Kisha’s Kitchen to yours!

A great friend of mine and fellow health and wellness enthusiast, Kisha Garcia, author of Fresh Fit Life, is an AMAZING cook. Just seeing pictures of what she’s concocted will make your mouth water. Best part of it all? It’s super good for you too. So even though she’s thousands of miles away and I miss her terribly, I wanted to share a little piece of one of my favorite parts of Kisha – her cooking skills.


♥  - The Bougie Budgetista 

I can’t even tell you how much I LOVE polenta. I found this recipe in the October 2011 issue of Muscle & Fitness Hers.  I did adjust the recipe to what I had at home.  Ah, the magic of cooking!

Italian Chicken & Polenta Casserole 

18oz precooked “tube” polenta

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp thyme

2 diced Roma tomatoes

1/2 cup all-natural marinara sauce

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

10 oz cooked chicken breast, cut into bite-size pieces

1/4 cup low-fat ricotta cheese

1/4 cup part-skim shredded mozzarella

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Coat medium pot with cooking spray and place on medium heat. Add garlic, oregano, and thyme. Cook for one minute, being careful not to burn the garlic (stir!).  Stir in tomatoes, marinara sauce, vinegar, and chicken. Bring to a soft boil, then reduce heat and cover, simmering for 15 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, slice polenta in 1/2 inch slices. You should end up with 9 slices, not including the end pieces. Coat an 8×8-inch baking dish with cooking spray and place slices in a single layer.

4. Spoon half of the sauce mixture over polenta. Drop ricotta cheese by the teaspoon over sauce. Add remaining sauce and sprinkle with shredded mozzarella.

5. Bake covered with aluminum foil for 15 minutes. Remove foil and bake an additional 10 minutes.

6. Enjoy!

Motivated Monday - Don’t call it a comeback!

Hello lovies! I know you’ve missed your daily dose of the Bougie Budgetista because I know I’ve missed you too. In my writing sabbatical, I’ve come to experience many things and meet some AMAZING people. My vision has had a few revisions and now I’m back and better than ever! As some of my readers would say, I’m “down right motivated”!

So here’s the scoop – I met an amazing writer named Ashley Cisneros who has, for lack of a better phrase, lit a fire under my butt. She, like so many others I’ve come across, risked it all for her dreams, leaving a secure position in her field to explore new, more fruitful ventures. She’s now her own boss working on her own terms. A perfect portrait of a hustler, if you ask me. She has encouraged me to get back on my rock star status and write, write, write my way to my goal of working in my field while pursuing my passion in the fitness world. This project works in phases.

Phase one: Take your vision and make revisions

I had the opportunity to sit down with Ashley for brunch and just talk. Granted, we talked about everything from school to weddings to business ventures, successes and failures, and (most importantly) the lessons learned from it all. During our talk, I learned the importance of the “Everything but the kitchen sink” resume (officially known as a curriculum vitae, for you fancy folks) and tailor each resume to the position you’re applying for. Make your experience align with the job description to give yourself a leg up against the competition. Needless to say, I smacked my forehead and thought, “Now, why didn’t I think of that?” You know you can do it. You know you have the knowledge and skills to make that happen. Now think about all the qualifications you have to help you achieve your goal and put it on paper. Think about all the necessary steps you’ll need to take to get to finish line.

Phase two: You better (Net)Work, Honey!

I’ll admit, I’m not the best networker in the world. But I know people who are! And, believe you me, knowing is half the battle. Ashley, on the other hand, is a master at this art form. So, whether you’re a wall flower like me or a social butterfly like Ashley, the one thing we both recommend you do is get some business cards. You can make them yourself at home or have them professionally done. If you’re going to go the print route, I must recommend VistaPrint. They have amazing deals and wonderful customer service. Plus, what makes a bigger impression – ridges on your flimsy card and off center print, or 500 uniform, print quality cards that you only paid shipping for?

Phase three: Lights, Camera, and Plan of Action

Once you’ve figured out all the steps and possible side steps needed and met some key players in helping you achieve your goal, you now have to put your plan into action. Don’t have an action plan? Make one! Be it a vision board or a business plan or a mantra on a post-it on your bathroom mirror, you MUST have a visual representation of what you’re working towards. It’s a constant reminder that every single day, what you’re doing is getting you closer to where you want to be.

Through Ashley, I’ve met some wonderfully talented people. Where I lack, they have and vice versa. There is the potential for some seriously successful partnerships to flourish. But right now, I must focus on my writing. After all, that was step one in my master plan. If I am going to touch as many people as possible with my story and my passions, then I must write. 

♥  - The Bougie Budgetista